


An Offering of Trust

by paradox_n_bedrock



Series: we wear our traumas the way the guillotine wears gravity [1]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Occult Content, Past Abuse, Religious Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22606399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradox_n_bedrock/pseuds/paradox_n_bedrock
Summary: “And what good has that done us?” she said, much more softly than intended, even as Marie’s words about taking a chance on trust, about women working together, came back to her. She shook her head at herself, at Lilith, at this pitiable situation. “Come then, Madam Satan, I’m sure we have room for you," she said. But she saw the change in her expression, the distaste for that name. She looked into Lilith's eyes and finally, truly registered the terror on her face.--Zelda and Lilith try just a little harder for each other. They're lucky to have the benefit of Marie's emotional intelligence in the process.
Relationships: Marie LaFleur (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina)/Zelda Spellman, Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith
Series: we wear our traumas the way the guillotine wears gravity [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663672
Comments: 23
Kudos: 95
Collections: Madam Spellman 2020 Challenge





	An Offering of Trust

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Madam Spellman 2020 Challenge, Week 5: Fix-It. And holy fuck, y'all, I can't believe I got it done. Major props to its-a-goode-day for beta-ing under a time crunch. (This presumes part 3, ep 6 took place over longer than it did in canon. Also, don't burn toxic plants, especially not indoors.)

The air felt oppressive as Zelda entered the church, still heavy with dust and fear and sorrow. They had finished clearing it out, but it would take many services there before the specter of previous events would begin to fade. Yet, it was somewhere that had been a comfort to her since first settling in Greendale. Even in her longest decades spent traveling, coming back to New England meant coming home to this desecrated place.

She walked up the center aisle, trailing her free hand over the pews as she passed. Rather than approaching to stand at the altar, she bowed facing it like a congregant. Breathing slowly to steady her nerves, she knelt and set down her basket. 

She delicately pulled out the silver bowl, half filled with salt and ash already, setting it on the top step in front of her. In went a lump of charcoal and a pinch of resin incense. Then a bundle of herbs, including dried rose petals and a sprig of nightshade pilfered from Hilda’s potion supplies. She’d felt foolish assembling it, not sure if she would even get this far. Finally, she pulled out the small dagger and freed it from its sheath. Using the razor sharp tip, she drew blood from her index finger, adding three drops to the bowl. She tugged open her blouse with the other hand, using the slowly welling remainder to mark over her heart. 

Reminding herself to stay calm, steady like the surface of a placid lake, she began, “Lilith, I know I haven’t been the most enthusiastic of followers, nor confident leader for your new reign. I’ve been hesitant to commit us to an unknown path, to a woman who’s only shown loyalty to herself. There are so few of us left, a misstep on my part could mean our end. It _will_ likely mean our slaughter, at this point. I can’t be responsible for more death. But we need you now, Lilith.” She closed her eyes, imagining Lilith was there, imagining she cared at all, and spoke at length of the council’s visit, the decline in their powers, and the impending threat of the pagans, feeling more helpless with each word acknowledging the magnitude of their problems. 

Sitting back on her heels, Zelda set the offering alight. “My Dark Lady, I offer this meager gift as a token of my appreciation. A symbol of all that I have to give: my devotion, my power, my will. I'd offer you my soul if it was still mine to give. Protect my coven, help me save them, and I’ll be your most faithful disciple.” She swayed forward, her pride making her resist the slight urge to fold in half to the floor. Aside from leading her coven in prayer, it had been centuries since she’d done more than ask for a cursory blessing from any figure other than Satan, but even without that refresher, she could easily recall the verses she’d whispered at fifteen, the night before her Dark Baptism.

“Hail Lilith, full of disgrace,  
cursed art thou amongst women,   
and cursed is the fruit of thy womb, demons.  
You fled the garden,  
where the weak ones dwelled,   
and did not live in shame.  
Unholy Lilith, mother of night,  
pray for us sinners now,  
and at the witching hour of our death.”

She recited it again and again, until her voice began to go hoarse, until she began to rock with the words, until her mind drew down to somewhere dark and safe, untethered by her body, where there was only her prayer and its echoing reverberation. Eventually, her voice cracked and fell to a whisper and, slowly, she came back to herself, finding the embers of her fire dimmed and cooled. “Come through for us, Lilith, if we’re to be your flock. Or I’m afraid you won’t have one for long.” She gathered the spent bowl, replacing it with the last item from her basket before she stood, knees crackling from her time on the unforgiving stone. Turning, she left the church without a backwards glance, ready to return to her family and the oncoming struggle. 

The lone pomegranate remained, rolling to the base of the altar. 

Zelda’s prayers went unanswered even as the situations with the pagans and with Lucifer began to spiral out of control. Some unknown impulse kept her trying, and finally Lilith did appear, revealing that she’d been galavanting around with Sabrina _again_ and was no longer even Queen of Hell. There had been nary a word of acknowledgement for her or the coven. After that, it made her uneasy to contemplate the nights she had jotted down her hopes and fears and lit them aflame with an altar candle, sending them for Lilith’s consideration along with her prayer.

Now she sat in her oppressive office at the academy, knowing they were fighting for their very lives on their own. When she remained idle for too long, the stuffy room reminded her of Faustus in a way that made her feel ill; a way that bordered on paralyzing, if she was being honest about her worst moments. But she plucked a cigarette out of its case, grabbed another book on infernal pacts, and told herself this was no time for such maudlin thoughts. She could redecorate if they survived. 

It was a mild comfort that the office no longer smelled like him, and was starting to take on a much more pleasing echo of Marie’s light floral perfume. She hated to admit that Prudence had been right; she’d felt threatened by someone else coming in with a similar title and the power to help people under her care when she’d been unable. She knew she'd been erratic as of late, more prone to fits of temper and melancholy even without Lucifer's insidious influence. Luckily, Marie apparently wasn’t the type to hold it against her. The woman in question reclined in the other armchair, a book on pagan magic open in her lap. “What is it, _ma chérie?_ I can tell something is bothering you.”

“Besides our impending doom?” She asked dismissively, pretending she was already absorbed into the new text.

Marie chuckled lightly at her, but somehow it didn’t sting, didn’t make her want to double down on her avoidance. She could even picture her smile without looking, and _that_ was mildly alarming. “Yes, something else. Don’t lie to Marie. I see you."

Zelda gave in easily. There was something more pressing on her mind than the shadow of her ex-husband. It had been bothering her for days, as the contrast between her and the rest of the coven grew. With a snap of her fingers, the end of her cigarette began to smolder. “I still have my powers. From what we know, there doesn’t seem to be another Satanic witch in the world that has more than a spark left.”

“That is intriguing. _Peut-être_ you are tapping into a different kind of magic.”

“ _J'en sais rien, c’est possible?”_

Marie smiled kindly, leaning in. “ _Tout est possible._ Have you tried asking for guidance? I know the devil is no longer… relevant to your beliefs, but the spirits? Your ancestors, perhaps?”

Zelda sighed, feeling the weariness down to her bones, “I have prayed to Lilith, who is now not even on the throne of Hell. There’s been no answer. I set my coven on the path to revere her, and I don’t even know if she can be trusted.”

“Ah, _ma chérie,_ you could say the same about me. You are putting your faith in a lot of women you don’t know are trustworthy, right now.”

“Are you saying I’m wrong to do so? That’s rather the opposite of what you implied when you arrived.”

“ _Non,_ of course not, I am saying you should continue to listen to my advice,” she said with a wink.

“Oh, _quand même,_ Marie!”

Marie laughed in earnest now, a rich sound that warmed Zelda through. She stood, closing her book and tucking it under one arm.

“Come now, we’re not going to get anywhere if you do not nourish yourself. Will you let us continue this over dinner? I’d bet your sister keeps a well-stocked kitchen.” She held out a hand to help Zelda up.

Zelda sobered at the mention of Hilda, who she’d reverted to treating rather callously of late, but pressed the guilt down deep with everything else she didn’t have the wherewithal to deal with right now, and regarded Marie’s proffered hand for a moment, her fine-boned fingers and sharp nails, before accepting it and allowing herself to be pulled to her feet. “Are you offering to make me dinner?”

They were close enough that she could feel the shaky breath Marie took at their proximity. Anticipation coiled in Zelda's stomach at the evidence that Marie was so profoundly affected by her. “I expect a little help, High Priestess, but I think you deserve to be cared for, for a night.” 

“Hmm. One more question, then... How attached are you to those acrylics?” Marie’s startled laugh cheered her once again, but as they departed, her _sotto voce_ response of _I have never had any complaints_ left Zelda breathless, and she reluctantly acknowledged to herself that Marie was a whirlwind she could get used to. 

A lovely working dinner in the academy’s kitchen left her feeling more centered than she had in weeks. They hadn’t formed a definitive plan, but a small kernel of optimism flared in Zelda’s heart nonetheless. That mood was soured, however, when she came upon the once Queen of Hell lurking in her foyer, looking like she was trying to avoid the paparazzi. “Lilith, what in the heaven are you doing here? What’s wrong?”

Lilith tugged off her too-large sunglasses. “You know very well. Lucifer walks free. Don’t you think he’ll take vengeance upon us? The Dark Lord is not known to forgive and forget.” She spoke in her usual even tones, but there was an unfamiliar wildness to her manner that made the hair on the back of Zelda’s neck stand up. “I’ve already received a threat. I need asylum.”

“I am sorry for that, but we’re rather more focused on not being annihilated by a group of unhinged pagans, as I suspect you know.” 

“Of course I know -- you told me. I can help you.”

“Oh, you, the ultimate wildcard? I asked for your help, night after night, and you've been more preoccupied running around after my niece." 

“But you must give me sanctuary. You worship me.” The crumple of Lilith’s face was unexpected. She stepped close, despite the prickle of danger at being within arm’s length. 

“And what good has that done us?” she said, much more softly than intended, even as Marie’s words about taking a chance on trust, about women working together, came back to her. She shook her head at herself, at Lilith, at this pitiable situation. “Come then, Madam Satan, I’m sure we have room for you," she said.

But she saw the change in her expression, the distaste for that name. She looked into Lilith's eyes and finally, truly registered the terror on her face. That tightly restrained wildness was vaguely the look of a hunted animal, and that thought sank heavy in her gut. She remembered her own nausea at being called Lady Blackwood, followed by the wave of rage at being reminded of that man's ownership, and vowed to strike the name Madam Satan from any further prayers. "Lilith." She wondered how much anguish would pour out of this woman if she were even a little less controlled.

Lilith seemed to realize that she had revealed more than intended and became embittered, even as she stood taller at the idea that she would be allowed to stay. She grinned coldly, closing the already meager distance between them. “You… You’re a pathetic lot, with your _oh, so fickle_ faith.” Her hand came up to stroke teasingly over Zelda’s heart. 

Zelda instinctively went to slap it away but stopped as a familiar sensation welled up, electric and sharp enough to take her breath away. Her hand fell to cover Lilith's, instead. “No, it can’t be.”

“Why ever not?”

"It's your magic I've been using, isn't it? How?" Zelda questioned with disbelief.

"The way you called upon me, invited me in. Did you even know? I could take you apart, rip your magic out by the root. Leave you nothing but a worthless, mortal husk," she almost sing-songed, a tone of satisfaction in her voice.

Calmness swept over Zelda, and she merely smirked at the posturing. “You just told me I made the right choice.”

“Because I could destroy you,” Lilith stated flatly.

“No, because you didn’t threaten me with it when I was going to refuse you. Now, let’s see what we can do about both our problems.”

Lilith cocked her head, taken aback, but trailed after Zelda deeper into the academy.

First, Zelda retrieved Marie, who was just settling in for the night.

Then, they focused on cloaking Lilith’s presence. Any protection spells they set, Lucifer could break right through, so their best advantage would be giving him no reason to seek them out yet. Zelda did her casting, and then Marie, who was rather bemused at Lilith's sudden inclusion. Ultimately, it involved destroying the personal belongings Lilith had worn to the academy. She was left in one of Zelda’s nightgowns and robes, and for the first time, Zelda realized how tiny she appeared, out of her usual well-tailored armor.

It was an oddity, to cast with Marie and Lilith in the same room. She had only known Marie for a very short while, but her presence served to steady her. It’d been so long since someone looked at her with adoration and even longer since she felt someone saw her and still did. She couldn't remember at all the last time someone made her feel safe. 

Lilith made her feel a lot of things, but safe wasn't one of them. Under her careful observation, she felt more like a raw nerve, painfully exposed. Somehow, this was only exacerbated by the fact that she was fully dressed while the both of them were in nightwear. Briefly, her mind swam with unquestionably bad ideas, making her slide away from Marie's equally knowing gaze.

Once the immediate concerns of their safety were addressed, they relocated to the office. It was depressing to be back where they started after the pleasant trajectory the evening had taken. Zelda argued for them to get the pagans out of the way before Lucifer, but if Lilith’s magic was used to destroy them, it would immediately paint a target on the coven’s back. Eventually, with Marie as a mediator, they agreed that they would have to coordinate the attacks, working on the pagans' timeline.

”If we’re going to do this, I need to know what’s been going on, on your side,” Zelda said pointedly. “You and Sabrina have left me out of the loop for too long.” Lilith spilled her tale haltingly, as if she wasn’t sure she should share it. She told them of everything from the Kings to Sabrina to the quest for the unholy relics, but there was one point Zelda was caught on. “How did you know the realms were destabilizing?”

“All the signs were there.”

“But did you investigate?” Zelda inquired, and Lilith sat straighter, preparing a sharp retort. However, Marie was there and unafraid to put herself between the two, even resting a hand on Lilith’s arm.

“I think what _notre chérie_ is asking is, could those signs, whatever they may be, be faked? By the devil or these Kings?” she questioned, making Zelda stifle her surprise at the shift in endearment.

Lilith fell silent and, after a moment, went utterly pale, pressing a hand to her stomach, as though a terrible realization had just clicked into place. She turned in Zelda’s direction but didn’t seem to see her. The look on her face was haunting, and not something Zelda would soon forget. “I was so easily misled,” she whispered. “Of course I wouldn’t be allowed to have this.”

Marie, confirming that she was far kinder than either of them, continued in her gentlest tone, “Ah, perhaps it is time I excuse myself, as you know this enemy better than I. Feel free to wake me if I am needed.” 

Zelda felt a pang of unease, a sensation all too familiar when associated with a being she was supposed to worship, but rose to walk Marie out. “We haven’t decided on a course of action.”

“I know you will fill me in.” At the door, Marie paused, reaching out to cup her face with one hand. “We shall have our time, if it is meant to be. But now is for you and her, in one way or another, _n’est-ce pas?_ ”

A little bewildered, Zelda nodded stiffly and returned to Lilith. Despite her reservations, the high priestess wished she had some comfort to offer. She met exhausted, scared eyes and summoned all the fortitude she had left. 

Lighting another cigarette with a snap, she saw Lilith’s hushed gasp, felt it in her very bones, and wondered how she hadn’t recognized the ancient magic filling her. “You are going to get your crown back. You’re either going to win it, or Sabrina is going to abdicate the throne. You are the rightful ruler of Hell, and that’s just how it’s going to be,” she announced.

Lilith looked up at her with a blank expression, and Zelda tried not to be put out that her grand proclamation hadn’t had much of an impact. 

“How?”

“If you get your claws on the final relic, Judas’ thirty pieces of silver, will that put you back in the running? What if you acquire all of them and slaughter Caliban in the process, just to make sure?” Zelda mused.

“The Kings would still refuse to recognize my rule,” responded Lilith, incredulously.

She waved her cigarette dismissively. “At worst it would keep the crown up in the air and buy us more time.”

Lilith swallowed, sitting painfully still in her chair. “I… can’t go running around Hell with the Dark Lord on the loose. He’ll find me immediately.”’

Zelda thought of the respite Marie had offered her the last few days, suddenly wishing she had it in her to provide something similar to the woman in front of her. Instead, she sat next to her and offered her hand, palm up, to Lilith.

Lilith stared, unmoving, until she began to feel thoroughly silly, but then her hand crept out and slid awkwardly atop Zelda’s, who linked their fingers. “We go after Lucifer first. He’s still in a human body. We’ll recapture him tomorrow, after you’re rested,” she murmured, causing Lilith to blink at her in confusion. “After all that, there’s just the matter of our magic.”

“I... may be able to assist with that. If I can get the relics, I can likely also get the Book of the Beast,” she said.

“What will that help? The Book is present at every Dark Baptism of every witch. It’s just a list of souls promised to Lucifer. I doubt destroying it will make him return our powers.”

 _“This_ is the original, locked deep in Pandemonium. It contains the complete contract you committed yourself to. Zelda, dear, your powers don’t come from Satan, you signed them away to him. But you know by now, there’s always a loophole,” Lilith drawled, a spark of that missing roguishness coming back to her as she spoke.

Zelda looked across at her, hope flaring as bright as the magic shared between them. “We just have to find it. Together.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I think the French is pretty self-explanatory, but "quand même" can mean a few things and one of them is just an expression of disbelief or outrage. Please remember to reward your authors with feedback!


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